In Glennon Doyle's empowering memoir, "Untamed," the co-founder of Together Rising—an all-women-led nonprofit organization—urges readers to un-cage themselves and embrace their authentic selves to find true peace.
Doyle had the perfect life on paper: the nuclear family, great job, and the perfect image. But she still felt closed in and confined, like she was trying to be someone she wasn't. "I chose a personality, a body, a faith, and a sexuality so tiny I had to hold my breath to fit myself inside," she writes.
When she was on tour promoting a previous book, "Love Warrior," which provided insights and advice on marriage, she fell in love with another woman. Her intuition kicked in—her true self—and the ideal she had worked so hard to achieve came crumbling apart.
For a female writer of faith with a large Christian and "mommy blog" following, her coming out would put her readership at risk. At first, she didn't know what to do. Doyle connects her own struggles of identity to what the reader may be going through, providing strategies to break free from the cage and start designing the life you envision.
"Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages," she writes. From that point on, the pressures of living up to the image of the perfect woman, as dictated by a sexist society, became overwhelming.
She tried hard to become that woman, only to feel more enclosed. Buying into feminine ideals sold to the public, she turned to alcohol and drugs as a cushion to soften the blow of keeping her true self tamed inside her. This led to depression, anxiety, and bulimia.
At 26, however, she got pregnant and set out to get sober, while also doubling down on the image society wanted her to be: the perfect mother as seen on TV. What she discovered, of course, was that she still felt boxed in and like she was suppressing her true feelings.
But when she met retired professional soccer player Abby Wambach during that book tour, she fell in love, and everything changed.
Stop Pleasing, Start Living
What Doyle eventually realized was there is no actual cage, and there doesn't have to be an imaginary one if you don't let it. But it's not easy getting to this place and this realization, and she brings readers along the course of this incredible self-discovery.
Though an empowering story for the LGBTQ+ community, it resonates with anyone—the story of becoming "untamed" and why leaning on intuition and authenticity is what leads to success. This takes a deprogramming of preconceived thinking. Doyle admits—and writes at length—about how she needed to deprogram her thinking as a Christian, a mother, and a writer, and she delves into how she had to undo her biases and inherent racism as well.
She got honest with herself, and that meant coming out to her millions of followers, which risked her career. But risk is what was missing, as well as learning how to accept pain and falling short on goals. By following your truth, you will automatically live a fuller life.
"Over time, I walked away from my cages," she writes. "I slowly built a new marriage, a new faith, a new worldview, a new purpose, a new family, and a new identity by design instead of default."
This is her empowering story of emerging from those cages.
Key Takeaways: "Untamed"
In her book, Doyle writes about:
- Ways to identify areas in life that are blindly holding you back.
- Why living life on your own terms is key to long-term happiness.
- How to make a blended family not only work, but thrive.
- Why ten minutes of silence every day can be a game-changer.
- The importance of questioning societal norms.
Read Glennon Doyle's "Untamed" and discover the ways you can deflect external norms to further embrace the internal truth that lies within you.
