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Dr. Corey Yeager is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) primarily serving the African American community. His new book, How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself, iterates the importance of checking in on yourself and guides readers through the process.
In this episode of Motivational Mondays, Dr. Yeager discusses the struggles the African American community is up against, especially when it comes to focusing on mental health.
Dr. Yeager points out that we are always talking to ourselves about ourselves. You are your biggest influence and when you become aware of the conversations, i.e. “self-talk,” you realize just how negative you may be toward yourself.
One of the goals of Dr. Yeager’s book is to help you change your self-talk from negative to positive. It starts by learning to catch your negative thoughts. If those thoughts don’t help you move forward, replace them with something positive.
When you experience a traumatic event, you often set up coping mechanisms to protect yourself without realizing it. Someone may withdraw and be shy when they weren’t before. How do you return to who you were and stop “protecting” yourself? You have to reengage with those traumatic moments to move forward.
Dr. Yeager says African Americans have to distinguish between culture and the remnants of trauma. 400 years ago, they were beaten as a means of discipline. Now, people say, “the violence is cultural.” But it’s a remnant of the trauma. Dr. Yeager emphasizes that you need to investigate whether or not something is cultural or comes from trauma.
You accept things as an excuse because it was done to you in the past. In general, if something isn’t talked about and addressed, you will continue carrying generational trauma into the next generation.
Listen to the bonus episode to learn the importance of increasing confidence and embracing emotions.
Resources:
Read Dr. Yeager's book, How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself
Check out other Motivational Mondays episodes